I Hate Being Sick!

I have been sick for 3 days. I am the worst patient in the world. I hate being sick. It makes me a miserable person. All you can do is check your email and watch movies on TV.

Since I was stuck in the house, I watched a movie I had not seen in awhile. Love in the Time of Cholera. I don't know who has seen this movie or who has read the book. It stars Javier Bardiem who is the strangest actor to me. Some movies he looks unbelievably hot, and other movies, he looks like a hot mess. In real life, I think he's very attractive.

The story is about a love sick boy who turns into a love sick man. He falls in love with this girl whose father thinks he's not good enough for her. Her father moves her away and eventually she finds love. However, he never gets over her. He cries for weeks, wouldn't imagine touching another woman, and resigns himself to a life of celibacy until she is free again. In the meantime, he discovers sex, enjoys it, and decides sex is the way to overcome his pain for his lost love. When it is all said and done, he sleeps with hundreds of women, he never marries, until his lost love becomes a widow. He waited 51 years, 6 months, and 4 days to finally have her back in his life again. He wins her love again, and they live happily ever after. I think the movie is obviously a fairy tale. But I think there are some people who truly love that deeply.

I have often wondered if those types of stories actually happen. I know men and women who have had their heart broken by someone and throw themselves into pointless sexual encounters to keep themselves from feeling any true emotions. None of the people I have known have ever pined or desired to be back with their lost love so much that they would wait years to be reunited. I don't know everyone in the world. It's possible this movie may reflect someone's life.

I don't think I have ever fallen in love with someone. I know I have cared about some men I have dated, but I would never really say I was in love. I have had my heart broken and/or been devastated by men I have dated, but I have never wanted any of them back. I have never desired that these men wake up one day and realize the mistake they have made, and come back to me. I can't think of any of them I would ever want to see again.

I guess I should long to find someone I can't get enough of. Someone who I get excited every time I see him or just the thought of him makes me feel happy and loved. When I see him, I should want my heart to leap out of my chest and get butterflies every time he touches me. We can just lay in silence and enjoy each others presence. I would love to have those feelings, but I have one question:

How long does that last, and can you sustain it forever?

I guess time will tell if I ever find true love or just a sub par representation of true love.

The worst thing about being sick: I had to miss free salsa lessons/open bar last night and Open Mic night tonight. I hate being sick!! 

Kiwi